Who were you before the world told you who to be?

Glennon Doyle

I love this book. Of course. I will not write about a book that I don’t love. I love this book for a different reason from other books that I’ve written about in my blog. I love this book because Glennon (which completely a stranger to me) writes my life story for me. This book is Glennon Doyle’s third biography by the way, but her story is relatable with my own life in such an amazing way up to the point I understand why I did what I have done after I read her book. I know… amazing!

Listen. Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is disappointing that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself// Even you?// especially me.

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From my own personal experience, I know, a woman is expected to be anything but her true self. Who is this woman? the answer usually relates to her role in society: a talented student, a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister. The best women in society are those who choose martyrdom as her fate, to be non-existent. I was that kind of woman, stayed in a toxic marriage for years, I took care of every need of our family member but I don’t take care of my own needs, I was dying inside but the whole world said how lucky I am to have a life as I had back then, and of course I dismissed my “dying” and said to my self, I shouldn’t be so ungrateful. I felt the rage toward everything but I don’t know what to do and assume I just need another new “something”

6 years ago, I left my marriage. I decided that I no longer want to disappoint myself, I want to be happy and to disappoint a hell out of people. I understand now that people (especially those who said they represent god) don’t like that brave decision, they worry it might somehow inspire others to do the same, to leave a toxic environment, and to live a life that is truer for her. My advice to you my dearest reader, whenever a social circle told you to stop thinking and trust them, think harder and run, every time a person or an institution ask you to stop believing in your self, and you should believe them instead, please…choose to believe yourself and run. It involves a lot of running, but it’s good for our health.

Two years ago, I stop dye-ing my hair. In my late thirties, I already have lots of grey hair, and covering them start to become a job I do which no one paid me for. And to my surprise, when I stop dye my hair and let my hair as its natural color, which I think really cool; there are so many comments from a complete stranger, colleagues, friends, not friends, a friend of friends…up to my mom, and they all are made the same comment, “why don’t you dye your hair?” to which I usually reply: “well, grey is also a color right?”. I like my grayish hair, if it bothers them, well that’s their problem, not mine. I am forty years old now, I do my hair as I fucking want.

Cheers, read the book and may you too have the courage to love yourself.

Karin Sabrina