I decided to let my family’s form become an evolving ecosystem. I un-became a woman clinging to a prescribed family structure and became one clinging to each of her family member’s right to their full humanity: including me. We would break and re-break our structure instead of allowing any of us to live broken.

I quit buying the idea that a successful marriage is one that lasts till death, even if one or both spouses are dying inside it.

Page 76, Glennon Doyle, From the book: untamed

It’s astonishing for me that no one… Literally.. no one ever told me that a marriage is a hard work, and everyone involved in that marriage should have a significant contribution to make the whole thing work.

The sad thing is.. when a marriage doesn’t work, only a few who dare to admit it and even fewer that brave enough to leave the broken marriage. Most people will just accept the painful brokenness. The idea that a marriage should only happen once and it’s should be for a lifetime, are engraved deeply in our culture. The spouses should stay in their broken marriage, even though they are dying inside.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that people should leave their marriage whenever they feel like it. I wish we ( we: all the people who have experience with a marriage) start to acknowledge that a happy marriage is not happening instantly. I wish we could be more honest when we give a marital related advice to a friend or to our children or to who ever asked us about marriage.

Cheers,

Karin Sabrina