The commitment in marriage is to honor the lights within ..

I just found out that wedding preparation is surprisingly ( I did having many surprises.. literally) exhausting and also expensive, bloody expensive. I was planning a simple, small.. errm.. nope.. it was planned as a micro wedding actually, with only closest relatives and dearest friends, taking advantage from the restrictions emerged due to this Covid-19 Pandemic. Wait, what do you mean by taking advantage? Well… let me explain a bit my dearest reader, about a Bataknese wedding. For Bataknese, the birth (of a son), the death, the harvests, the wedding is a huge thing. When I said huge, it is huge.. the invitee may easily reach 2000 person, the food at the ceremony may cost equally with a small house in the Sub urban of Medan city. The hall, the clothes, the band, the drinks, the money shared to the guests as a thankyou notes for their time to come to the wedding, the jewelry, ow… and the ‘cinamot’ or the dowry is varied, but the upper limit is actually the sky. So, in general, Bataknese wedding party is really huge, and expensive, but since the pandemic hit the world from the beginning of this year, the usual size of Bataknese wedding party has been shrunken significantly with no complaints. I love it and want to fully taking advantage of it.

Then by having this mindset for a micro wedding ceremony, I tried to calculate the actual cost, I started from a famous make up artist in Medan city, he charged his clients for wedding ceremony for $350, not included any touch-up needed, then the professional photographer, they cost around $1300 for a day work. That was when I feel the micro wedding plan started to shattered into pieces. But I move along, the wedding must be planned carefully right? the hall and the catering for 50 person invitee is valued at $1000, and it’s not included the decoration, the bands, the usher and the MC. I even haven’t started on the cakes! Shoes! The kebaya (traditional lace dresses) and the tux! I was overwhelmed, and my over-thinking on details started to take a toll on me. I am getting easily pissed off, and my dearest love, blessed his soul, somehow can be so calm and patient toward this grumpy lady.

In the midst of that wedding prep, I received the sweet news about the wedding of a close friend of mine and engagement news of my soul sister. And their happy news made me thinking… I shouldn’t be overthinking about all the complementary parts of the wedding, yes, if the funds are sufficient, all the professional makeup artist and photographers are actually nice to have, but those things are still complementary parts, nevertheless.

Every time I received wedding or engagement news, I will send warm greetings and wish all the happiness for the couple, I usually say: May both of you will find comfort in each other, support each other, and always able to find happiness and delight in any situation. I never said, may you find a great make-up artist, or may the photographer at your wedding is able to shoot all Instagramable pics for you 😛

Well… I still want a micro wedding, and I believe, that the most important of the wedding is us. Me and him. Everything else has its important supporting parts but not the leading role… The wedding is a ceremony, not a performance. So from now on, I will remember that the wedding will only last for 4 hours, but the marriage will last for more than 40 years ( yep, he promised me 40 good years covered in honey, I know, he is extraordinary sweet), so no more stress out! I need brownies! XD

Stay safe and healthy people.

Karin Sabrina

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