A book about the absurdity of modern life passed on my timeline, the author, David Graeber, poses a very fascinating question: does your job actually contribute something to society? If not, your job is probably bullshit, part of a system that ensures we do a meaningless job, just to keep us busy, so the population shall not do anything revolutionary.

In 1930, John Maynard Keynes predicted that technological advances would enable us to work a 15-hour week. Yet we seem to be busier than ever before. Those workers who actually do stuff are burdened with increasing workloads, while box-tickers and bean-counters multiply.

In an age that supremely prizes capitalist efficiency, the proliferation of pointless jobs is a puzzle. Why are employers in the public and private sector alike behaving like the bureaucracies of the old Soviet Union, shelling out wages to workers they don’t seem to need? Since bullshit jobs make no economic sense, Graeber argues, their function must be political. A population kept busy with make-work is less likely to revolt.

I work 40 hours a week, but it feels like, no.. it is actually 80 hours a week because I need 2 hours in the morning to get everything and everyone ready for that particular day and 2 hours after the office hour because of the street jam and groceries shopping, etc.. So I arrived home completely exhausted and uninterested in doing anything but sleep. And I have to repeat that all over again the next day. On Saturdays, I am still too tired to be creative or to change the world; on Sundays, I already dread Mondays. So tiresome, but meaningless.

I guess, I am holding on to this dreading meaningless work because of the debts.. and my mom. I don’t think she can handle seeing me “not going to work at the office” like normal people do. So what should I do then.. resigning from this job is out of the question, I need it to support my life and to pay the debts. My tiny business is still way too small to support my life. So I’ll stay and survive.

What else can I do to survive this detrimental-soul-cruncher situation.. let’s make a list:

• I’ll write.. yes, it’s a form of art I know well, and doing any art is a beautiful silent revolution to face the grimness of this world.
• I’ll continue to run… for the last 4 years running has been a lifesaver for me.
• I’ll read my TBR list.
• I’ll bake
• I’ll do everything that needs a laser focus, I’ll skip judging the result.

Cheers,

K Sabrina