To end

To end the toxic relationship with my ex husband is one of the greatest decision I made in life. Eight horrendous year, I even believed it was all my fault. It was my fault that he got mad, I was not patient, I was not a good cook, I was not a good wife, I was not a good in mothering. Even when he hit me, it was my fault, I started it, I provoke him, I didn’t do what I supposed to do when he got mad, I supposed to be quiet, said nothing, and hope that his anger would soon pass.

The realization hit hard, unlikely in the movies, where the heroine somehow realized that she is stronger than she ever know, then she walk out of her closet and squashed all the bad guy, my realization is more like: at the time the heroine realized that she has been deceived all this time, she cried her heart out, she asked for help, and no one came to help, they all came to preach; after lengthy cry, she cried some more, unbeknown to her, while she was crying, her ex-husband has make his mind to make her life more miserable.

The rough path is a fertile soil for our growth; true, but growing is a messy process, and painful. I am grateful for the lessons, but the pain is really torn me apart. It still hurt up to this very day, but every time the memory of the past pays a visit, I am not crying anymore, yes, I still winced, but no tears.

You are one beautiful soul, never let anyone tell you that you are less, not enough, dumb or spoiled ,

Karin Sabrina

3 thoughts on “To end

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