I’m taking a sick leave today. Just a common cold and a headache—not terrible, but honestly, who doesn’t need a rest day once in a while? So I stayed home, slept in, and asked my husband to brew me a cup of tea. Everyone in the house made their own breakfast this morning, except me. My husband placed two slices of white bread with chocolate jam on a plate for me. A galaxy away from anything master chef worthy, true—but I ate it all.

By 9 a.m. I was already preparing lunch. I cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the bathroom, even changed the bedsheets. I do like tending home, really. And while scrubbing the toilet, I caught myself remembering a time when I envied those who worked in offices, those who had uniforms and routines. Back then I was a stay-at-home mom. Now the roles are reversed—I catch myself envying those who stay home instead of heading out for an eight-hour shift.

It seems I always want what I don’t have, to be anyone else but myself, anywhere but here. My mind runs off to the future or doubles back to the past, rarely landing in the now.

Funny, isn’t it? How “wants” never stop. Lately, though, I’ve started noticing the pattern. I can’t yet say I’ve reached the calm place of truly believing I want nothing more than what I already have. I sometimes claim that, yes—but if I’m honest, I haven’t arrived there yet. That’s another want in itself, isn’t it?

Still—I do have a good life, and I am living it fully. This is my life, with all its colors: light, dim, dark, bright, and everything between. I own it all.

Ow.. and I need to remind myself that “a good life is really not necessarily the same in everyone’s head. My kind of good life is different from my mother’s. And that’s okay. Surely the mood is getting sour every time my good life is considered not good enough, not flashy, and even a wasted life… But hey … Let’s ride everything. Life is never good or bad or wasted… Life is a process, life is a privilege, life is worthy.

Karin Sabrina