Interesting…. It’s not easy to un-busy myself. I woke up this morning and was thinking: should I run or should I just do exercise at home or should I meditate? Or…should I get out of the room, make the hot water and have a hot cup of my fave black tea and sit quietly while everyone is still asleep. 

Each suggestion is tempting and I love every one of them. But then the usual thinking came: this is Sunday and I need to do grocery shopping, I have to clean the house, do the laundry etc etc.. I will not have any time to do such and such tomorrow, and I also have to do this and that … Bla bla bla…. And suddenly the sunlight gently lights up the sky and I clearly lost my “running” time.

I meditated, and did the stretching, had a cup of tea and finally went to do the groceries.  And before I clean the house I sit in the verandah and write this. My mind went on full chattery now… Everything I did was too slow, not a great way to start a Sunny Sunday.

I just realized how hard I am to myself. I criticized me for everything, big and small.  I am so busy because I don’t want people to see me ‘not busy’. I think it’s a coping mechanism because I’ve been on the survival and defense mode for far too long.

But I also realized I am changing, I grow, and I believe I am on my healing journey.. it might be a journey for a lifetime … But that’s okay. I opt for a slow life this time. I want to shed my ’empty busy-ness’, it’s fine  if I look lazy or unproductive or have an average a.k.a mediocre lifestyle.

It’s raining again this evening, lovely.

May you have time to sit and enjoy the rain my dearest readers ❤️

Karin Sabrina