I lost it, I don’t have that ‘unconditional’ trust anymore to anyone even to those who I vowed to be the dearest to me. And it’s a good feeling to realize that I’ve grown, I’ve changed.

For so long I gave my trust to others, so they can decide what’s best for me, they can direct my life toward the life that they actually want for themselves but can’t have it. I gave my trust unconditionally and believe it’s the best, I used to supress any negative thoughts or feelings whenever I feel a slight suspicion that some huge problem I face is actually due to the decisions that others made on my behalf and I let them, thinking that would make them happy and accept me.

This realization marks the growth and I’m grateful. I realized that others must earn my trust. So, what kind of life is that when you don’t trust anyone at all? Who said I don’t trust anyone at all? I trust myself now, at least, I learn to trust more on myself. I lost the willingness to suffer just to make everyone pleased with me..  I lost interest in what others may think about me, and this is so peaceful and calm.

Cheers, may all of us at peace with ourselves; we are not a drop of water in the vast ocean, we are the entire ocean in a drop of water. 

Karin Sabrina