I’m feeling sentimental tonight.
I read my old notes—dated 2nd January 2017.
*Kuda.* A younger me. A girl I envy now.

She was at rock bottom.
No income. Jobless.
Caught in the slow grind of a divorce that stretched like winter.
And still—
I can feel her joy in the words.
A strange, bright kind of hope in her tone.
She had nothing, and somehow… she still sang.

And here I am—
The beginning of 2025.
I cried. I was tired, exhausted to be exact.

I have a job now.
A regular income.
Structure. Schedule.
And a financial weight so heavy, it wraps around my ribs when I breathe.

I cried for her—
For me—
For the space between us.

Thank you for your naivety, girl.
You didn’t know what would come,
and maybe that was your gift. You only have hope, and you used that hope at the maximum level.

I’m older now.
Maybe wiser.
Definitely wearier.

Life isn’t easy.
Maybe it never was.
I see too many people walking around
never saying who they really are.
And sometimes… I forget how to speak, too.

But tonight—
I remembered. I thank you girl.

Karin Sabrina