Due to a long held view and also conditioning for decades, my brain is naturally wired to focus on the negative—it’s a survival mechanism. Psychologists call this negativity bias. Thousands of years ago, it kept my ancestors alive. If our ancestors ignored a threat, they could die. But if they dismissed a compliment? No big deal. And even though I don’t live in the wild anymore, my mind still hold onto negative thoughts more than positive ones.

So, when I try to unwired myself, to change the tendency of my brain from its fondness toward negativity, I feel like I am planting a flower in soil that has been dry for too long. It’s not that the flower won’t grow—it’s just that the soil needs time to soften, to learn how to hold something new.

For almost a decade now I have been trying to change my tendency to negative thinking and also to be kinder with myself. I write every single day that I am enough, I have everything that I need and even slightly more. Some things are changing, but not as fast as I want. I still struggle to believe every good thing about myself. But at the very least I know progress is happening. I am more calm now, not because I can finally figure all things out, but because I am now a firm believer of the impermanence of things. None are permanent, so why should I hold on to something like I have no tomorrow.

Change isn’t a switch we flip—it’s a practice, a muscle we build. I’ve spent years reinforcing certain beliefs about myself. It makes sense that rewiring them will take time. But every time I repeat I am enough—even when I don’t fully believe it—I am chipping away at that old wiring.

And one day, without even realizing it, the words won’t feel foreign anymore. They’ll feel like home.

Because here’s the thing:
Growth isn’t measured by speed. It’s measured by direction.

And I am in the right direction now.

Cheers

Karin Sabrina