How are you my dear? It’s been a while, since the last time you chatted with me…

I’m good. Okay, I have scrolled too much in the insta-land. It’s admittedly easier to do than to think what to write to myself like this afternoon. But hey… I’m here now. It’s raining… It’s a beautiful time of the day. I’m off from work today, I got cold and coughing badly 🤧 so I choose to rest at home.

Today my eldest has her birthday day, 23 years ago, I held her in my arms, in a completely different situation from now. It was a chaotic experience, I have no idea how I can survive from that experience. But I survived.

I was too young to have her, I have no emotional and financial capacity to raise a child at that time, and perhaps that’s why I have a very complicated relationship with her. So many judgemental remarks said upon me and my eldest, and all those comments and insults are attached to us. Seems impossible to remove.

C’est la vie, the story keeps changing, I am changing, everyone does too. 23 years ago, I couldn’t sit in a verandah, enjoying rainfalls, sipping a hot black tea, yes, a handful of problems at the back of my mind, but who doesn’t? I closed that bitter chapter some time ago and now I’m in another chapter of my life, much much better compared to the two decades ago.

I have a colorful life and I’m grateful for it. Every chapter shapes me into who I am and I believe I’ll keep changing up to the last chapter in my life.

Hmm… Seems so serious today, yeaa.., probably the flu.

Stay safe and healthy my dearest readers,

K Sabrina