In one of the most low moments in my life, about 6 years ago, I decided to take an online course a life of happiness and fulfillment in Coursera, it’s a really great class, I’m totally recommend it for everyone. It’s a bit odd right? Taking an online course on happiness while You’re feeling so low? Well ya… It is really odd indeed. But it was a great experience, it helped me to crawl out from endless string of negative thoughts. I was then realized I have a hyperactive monkey in my mind ( I read somewhere, a Buddhist monk said that our mind is usually so busy, it never stops moving, jumping, going from one point to others in a fast pace, just like a monkey), and unfortunately, my monkey mind is seems brutally busy at all time.
The happiness course helped me recognize my monkey… And then, there’s one time that the professor in that course mentioned about an app called Calm, it’s an app loaded with meditation guidance and technic to meditate. I felt that perhaps if I start practicing meditation, I may be able to tame this busy monkey in my head. Please note that I have never try to do meditation before.
So then, I try to meditate, faithfully making 10 minutes a day to practice, I don’t always know how to follow the instructions, but I still feel a tremendous benefits from taking a mental rest at 10 minutes a day. For three years I did the practice, not always every day but it’s quite regular.
Then I started to feel like I am becoming this mature and calm woman, and I can finally tame my monkey forever, and I don’t need to meditate anymore. In Glennon Doyle words, I am that person who took an umbrella to help me stay dry under the rain, then while it’s still raining, I started thinking that, hey.. I’m dry now, I don’t need this umbrella anymore.
So for almost 2 years I skipped my meditation moments for everything else…. And my monkey comeback with full force. I became easily irritated, I disappointed my self over and over as a way to avoid conflict with others including my husband. In short, I am farther from the better version of my self.
I am grateful though… because I recognized my monkey has back and I need to get back to practice meditation again.
Cheers, may you too know what to do to get closer to the better version of yourself every single day,